Ever since I was a little girl, playing with my cabbage patch dolls I have longed to be a mother. I used to play for hours and hours with my dolls, putting them to sleep, feeding them bottles, rocking them and then putting them back to sleep. I used to dream about what my babies would look like. I don't remember dressing up as a bride or playing with barbies, as much as I remember playing with my cabbage patch dolls.
After Matt and I had been married for four years the longing for babies grew and grew. We had an empty bedroom that shouted its need for a baby. Before we knew it; only two months into trying; we were pregnant. I woke up on June 3, 2006 at like three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I took a pregnancy test and when the digital test said "pregnant" I jumped for joy. I then ran into our bedroom and shook Matt awake. "I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. We are going to be parents," I shouted. He kind of rolled over, said "Congratulations," gave me a hug and went back to sleep! Well, I sure couldn't sleep, so I tossed and turned in bed until 4am. I realized then that I could call my sister as she lived in PEI and they were three hours ahead of us. So at 7am I woke her up with my exciting news. And from then on I continued to phone people all morning. I was so excited that I was pregnant and I was going to be a mom.
Fast forward, a few months. My pregnancy was progressing perfectly. We had found out that we were having a baby girl and we were overyjoyed. I was growing and loving having my baby girl kick and do somersaults in my tummy. I was enjoying being pregnant. When I was 29 weeks pregnant, I started having contractions and they kept coming regularly. I was at work at the time, and my friend from another doctor's office drove me to the hospital. The contractions were coming every few minutes and I was scared. I knew it was too early for Alyssa to be born. I called Matt, who was in Houston, and asked him to come home as I was so scared. Matt got on the next plane. They kept me in the hospital overnight and gave me steroids for Alyssa's lungs and some awful drug to stop the contractions (it made me feel horrible...really nauseas and shaky). Finally the contractions stopped, just as Matt arrived at the hospital. I was able to go home but was on strict bedrest. In the next two weeks, I ended up in the hospital a couple of times with regular contractions but thankfully everytime they stopped. I was still on bedrest at 32 weeks when I finally didn't have any more contractions. Dr. Chua, my OB, kept me on bedrest though until 35 weeks pregnant when he took me off as they wouldn't try and stop labor if it begun. Alyssa hung on until 37 weeks 5 days. Praise the Lord.
On Friday, January 26, 2007 I was downstairs playing Dr. Mario (I love Tetris and Dr. Mario), I noticed that I was contracting but just thought that they were Braxton Hicks. The contractions were coming every 10 minutes or so and they lasted all through the night. They weren't too painful though (the preterm labor was ALOT more painful) and I was able to sleep through them. When I woke up on Saturday January 27th I was still contracting and they were every five minutes apart. I was starting to have to breathe through the contractions. I jumped out of bed and hopped into the shower. I just knew I was going to have my baby girl that day. Around 10am I was really having to breathe through the contractions as I was in a lot of pain. Matt drove me to the hospital, where they discovered I was only 2cm dialated so with a shot of morphine I went home to sleep. On the way home though, I made Matt stop and get me a booster juice as it was the only thing I thought I could stomach and I knew I had a long day ahead of me. I slept off and on through that whole day, waking occasionally with a really strong contraction. The morphine kept me nice and relaxed. When I woke around 8pm I couldn't handle the contractions anymore. They were more than I could handle and I knew it was time. Matt drove me back to the hospital and I was 4cm. I was being admitted. I got settled into a labor and delivery room. Matt ran to the car to get my bags and I asked for an epidural. (I am not a hero when it comes to pain.) They got me an epideral before Matt even got back from getting my things. Oh sweet relief. I could have hugged that anestisiologist. They nurse checked me again after the epidural and I was at 6cm. The doctor came in too check me right after that and my water broke and I was 7cm. Oh, this labor was progressing fast. I was so thankful we came in when we did and I got the epidural in time. At one point, the epidural wore off on one side of my body and boy did that hurt. It hurt so much I couldn't even breathe and I just remember looking into Matt's eyes and pleading with him to breathe with me. He started breathing and I was able to cope until the anestesiologist came back in to up my epidural. Oh again, sweet relief!!! The nurse checked me right after that, at 10pm and I was fully dialated. But, I was too numb to push. So the nurse let me rest. Both Matt and I actually slept for an hour. At 11pm, my nurse, Linda, came in and said it was time to try and push. I pushed for 40 minutes and then nurse Linda held Alyssa in while she called for Dr. Chua to hurry. He ran in and caught, sweet Alyssa at 11:42pm on Saturday, January 27, 2007. He held her up to me and I could think of was "she is so beautiful." At that moment I became a mother!!!
She was weighed and measured. 5lbs 15oz and 17 1/4 inches. They swaddled her up and handed her to daddy. I fell in love once again, with my husband as I saw the joy and emotion written all over his face. He was so happy to be a daddy.
We were moved to a room and I remember just staring at my little girl in her bassinett. I stared at her for hours and couldn't sleep. Matt was snoring gently in the corner and I just stared at my beautiful little girl as she slept. I finally realized, at about 4am, that she was mine and I could pick her up. So I picked her up and we slept the rest of the night skin to skin. It was beautiful.
We came home on Monday, January 27th. Alyssa had to stay a little extra as I was strep B postive and because she came so quickly, I didn't get the full dose of antibiotics in me before she was born. She was healthy though, and we got to come home to a freshly cleaned house. Thanks Grandma.
The first of many times, I rocked my baby girl in the rocking chair. Just as I had dreamed of doing so many years ago.
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